08172017Headline:

Turning Points

"You see that Katy? That's our future on the horizon, and it looks like Windex and interest rates."

“You see that Katy? That’s our future on the horizon, and it looks like Windex and interest rates.”

I strongly believe the last few days can be summed up with this quote:

“I did a lot of tired things and now I’m very tired.” – An Excerpt from Sundance’s thoughts on Halloween

Where the Split level’s concerned, a lot of big decisions have had to be made fairly quickly. And I’d be a huge liar if I said it hasn’t left me mentally exhausted. Not Jack-trying-to-haul-a-substantial-Rose-onto a-floating-door-in-the-freezing-Atlantic type exhaustion, but I haven’t been getting a solid eight hours either.

I’m more like the ticket taker on the Titanic who, no doubt, looked around and said, “Really? Get a summer job, they said. Make a little money of your own, they said. No ever saw the world on a paper route, they said.”

In short, the Kellermans will be parting with the Split level come Springtime. We’ll miss it, but this is great news for anyone who’s in the market for a home formerly owned by an author no one’s ever heard of.

On the bright side, foundation repairs start Monday. And, after a talk with our realtor, prospects for the future are looking up.

“Well, I calculated what you owe, what the house is worth, and the cost of the repair.”

I grabbed the remote and shut off Lifestyles of the Median Incomes: Up Cycled Appliance Edition. “And?”

“I think best case scenario here leaves us at-”

“A four car garage and a summer house in Maine?”

“Breaking even.”

“I see.”

She continued. “Also, if we’re going to meet our goal, I’d advise taking the winter to fix a few things around the house.”

“But I usually take the winter to drink cocoa and do nothing. I also thought I might try building a snow fort this year, but plans for that are still sketchy due to the ever-present fact I dislike spending large amounts of time outside.”

“It’s up to you, but painting, patching, and general cleanup are always a good idea, if you want to get full market value.”

“Fine, but I’m sure there are a few people out there who still enjoy the simple charm of outdated light fixtures and unfinished cabinets.”

Ok, so things aren’t looking up so much as sideways, but, at the very least, 2014 holds the following adventures I’m making you accompany me on:

Spackle, A Journey.
What Do You Mean You’re Only Offering Us Ten Dollars?
That Closet Never Had A Door.

and… We Only Need To Live In Your Basement For A Little While.

Paige Kellerman blogs about marriage, babies and gin at www.paigekellerman.com, and is the author of At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles: Mostly-True Tales of An Impending Miracle. You can reach her at paigekellerman@gmail.com.

She also hides out on Twitter and Facebook.


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